


All These Things That I've Done

by serohtonin



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 18:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serohtonin/pseuds/serohtonin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren and Chris discuss Blaine's adultery, and meanwhile Chris uncovers something he never knew about Darren. Title taken from The Killers' song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All These Things That I've Done

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Of course, I don't claim any of this to be true, except for the canon storyline referenced from "Glee." None of the characters from said show belong to me, either.

They’re sitting together on Chris’ couch, Darren running his bare foot up the leg of Chris’ sweats as they both silently read over the latest Glee script, a routine they had grown into since this season, and their relationship, started (the latter during this past summer). It was a way to get work done, but still share each other’s company.

Chris smiles at the comforting feeling, but then his brows furrow, and he flops his copy down into his lap. “Have you ever cheated on someone?” he suddenly asks.

Darren pauses, looking up briefly. “That’s irrelevant.”

“What are you talking about? It is so relevant that it’s not even funny, Darren.”

“My past behavior doesn’t necessarily inform my future actions.” He scoots closer to Chris. “I mean, look at you and me. Sure, I kissed men before, but I’ve never felt about _anyone_ the way I feel about you. I thought I’ve made that pretty clear.”

Chris pulls away slightly. “Don’t change the subject. You’re evading the question, Darren.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was giving a statement, then backing it up with an example.”

“But you still didn’t give an answer.”

He straightens up and looks at Chris seriously. “Well, when you have to be away from someone you lo--someone you really care about,” he looks away, “so much that it physically aches,” he clutches his chest on the last word, “and other people are available--”

“Oh my God, you have, haven’t you?”

He chances a look into Chris’ eyes, hoping his own are soft and sincere. “Chris, you know me--”

“No, not really.” He glares at Darren coldly, sliding further away.

Darren grabs Chris’ wrist. “Don’t be like that. Fucking, let me finish. Anyway, I tend to be a little impulsive, and spontaneous, and... it gets me in trouble.”

Chris just studies Darren’s face.

“It’s not like I cheated on _you_. I’m not saying I get a kick out of hurting anyone.”

“That still doesn’t make it okay.”

“I know. I’ve apologized for my shit behavior, and believe me, I’ve paid for it. I don’t think I’d ever do it again, honestly.”

“Oh, well, that makes it better,” Chris retorts.

“I know it doesn’t make it better. I’m a terrible person, and an even more terrible boyfriend at times, but I’ve learned from it.”

“Oh, really? Have you?”

“Chris,” his hand rests on Chris’ knee.

He pushes Darren’s hand away.“No, what have you learned?”

Darren scoffs, and then, his face scrunches up as he attempts to choose his words carefully. “To not fall into situations that I can’t get out of, and to not be a dick about things, and admit when something’s not working out.”

Chris blanches and eyes him incredulously. “Like the situation we fell into? The stage kiss in London, and the stupid, drunken hookups?”

“C’mon. Those things weren’t stupid. Well, maybe at the time they were, but they all meant something, and y’know, I really can be kind of a dick sometimes. You probably figured that out soon after you met me, after I stopped trying to impress you and acted more like myself.”

“No, actually, you were always a dick,” Chris smiles despite himself. “Wait,” he narrows his eyes, “that was you trying to impress me?”

“Kind of, yeah.” Darren absently scratches at the back of his neck. “I mean, you were _the_ Chris Colfer, from _Glee_ , so, yeah.”

“Oh, and I’m not now?”

“No,” Darren says, closing the gap between them. “You’re still Golden Globe winning actor Chris Colfer, among other things,” he smiles, and rests his head in the crook of Chris’ neck, awkwardly slinging an arm over Chris’ middle, “but, right here, right now, you’re just Chris. You’re _my_ Chris.”

“ _Your_ Chris, huh?” Chris smirks, almost forgetting the weight of their earlier conversation.

“Uh huh.” Darren nuzzles his neck and presses a kiss into the curve where Chris’ neck and shoulder meet.

“You’re distracting me. This isn’t fair.”

“It is so totally fair,” he punctuates each word with kisses up Chris’ neck, “given how long we’ve taken to get here.”

Chris’ heart swells at the fondness in Darren’s voice. “Mmm. Stop it! We were having a serious discussion.”

Darren lets out a huff of frustration against Chris’ skin, but pulls away a bit. “I’m sorry.”

“You were saying...”

“...that I fuck up everything, all the time, especially the things, and people, I care about the most, but I try, _I try,_ to make it right when I can, and I wouldn’t deliberately cause anyone pain, especially you.”

Chris looks solemnly into Darren’s eyes, then looks at the couch cushions when he says, “So, you understand where Blaine’s coming from?”

“Yeah, I guess. It definitely threw me for a loop, but, yeah.”

“So, you’re selfish?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. Well, maybe, sometimes, but Blaine’s not selfish, not in this case. He’s terrified, and he’s hurting.”

Chris looks back up, blue eyes gazing intently into Darren’s face. “So he goes and screws up one of the most important relationships in his life?”

There’s a few moments of silence before he answers, a little choked up,“Yeah, yeah, he does.”

“Wow. That’s--” Chris stops when he notices the way Darren’s staring down contemplatively at the script, a little rumpled, but still on his lap. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I--I’m fine,” Darren swallows. “I was thinking, that’s all.”

Chris suppresses his natural instinct to come back with a snappy comment. Instead, he throws his script on the couch beside him, and grabs Darren’s hand pleadingly, “Talk to me. Please,” because for once, Darren is quiet.

“Nah. It’s nothing.”

“It is not nothing, and you know it.”

He brings their joined hands to his mouth and kisses them.“I--I would never intentionally hurt you, okay?”

“Now you’re scaring me.”

“No, please, Chris--It’s just--I don’t wanna fuck this up. Us, I mean, like Blaine did.”

“Well, we’re not Blaine and Kurt. You do know that, right? And I can’t promise that you won’t, unless, you already did something--” Chris wears a quizzical expression.

“No, no, I know. I didn’t. I wouldn’t.” He tosses the script onto the coffee table, straddling Chris, and cupping Chris’ cheeks in his hands. “I--I am grateful that you let me--be with you.”

“Are you sure you didn’t--?”

“No, no, I swear--” he kisses Chris’ mouth, “I,” under his left eye, “would,” under his right eye, “never,” his forehead, “never,” his mouth again, “ever--” his neck.

“People say things they don’t, uhhh, they don’t mean all the time, Darren. We should, uh--”

He pulls back to look at Chris’ face. “No, not until you hear me. The bottom line here is that you still don’t trust me, do you?”

Chris bites his own lip. “Well, how can I, now?”

“That,” he kisses Chris’ mouth chastely, “is a fair point. I don’t really trust me either, given everything I’ve done, but I’ve never done anything, _anything,_ to intentionally upset you, and I’m not about to start, alright?” He strokes his thumb under Chris’ eye. “Alright?”

Chris shivers below him.

“Alright? I’ll show you, okay? You have me. You’ve always had me. I let you in,” he breathes against Chris’ lips, “when it was so, so difficult,” his hands slip under Chris’ shirt, needing to feel the warmth of his skin, “to admit, even to myself, that I had real, honest feelings, and that it wasn’t,” a heated, but quick kiss on the mouth, “it wasn’t character bleed, and it wasn’t,” a few kisses along his jaw, “because you’re really hot,” Darren laughs.

Chris is about to open his mouth when Darren continues, pressing a finger to Chris’ lips,“I can hear you arguing already, but, you are. Anyway, it’s not just for that reason, though this position might say otherwise,” he chuckles. “It’s because you’re hilarious, and smart, and sometimes, you think too much, but I like that, y’know? And I’m not spewing bullshit because I want to get into your pants, I promise.”

“Wow, you are _so_ romantic, Darren.”

“Um,” Darren flushes, “I just wanted to add that, in case there was any doubt.”

“You’re getting embarrassed _now,_ after everything we’ve done?”

Darren pinches Chris’ side. “Shut the fuck up, man. That was really difficult for me to say, especially now that you know--”

“Ow. I know,” Chris replies, with no trace of teasing. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“No, I mean--No. I don’t--”

Chris can tell he has something else to say, so he leans his forehead against Darren’s, and rubs at the small of his back, in an attempt to relax the other man, to get him to stop sputtering and get out whatever it is that he’s trying to express. “Go on, tell me.

“I--I love you, okay?” Darren sighs. “I love you,” he says more assuredly the second time.

Chris thinks his heart must have stopped beating, because he’s paralyzed with shock for a few moments. “Are--are you sure because--?”

“Yes, I’m sure, so fucking sure.” Darren doesn’t wait for any further response before he strips Chris’ shirt off and kisses him hard. “I am so, so in love with you.”

“But it’s only been a few months, and I don’t--we didn’t--”

“I don’t even care. Right now, I want you to stop thinking,” he sucks on the spot right above Chris’ heart, “and feel.” His lips trail up to Chris’ collarbone. “Feel me.” He takes one of Chris’ hands and places it over Darren’s chest. “This is for you, and _this_ ,” he takes Chris’ other hand, setting it over Darren’s half-hard cock, “is for you. Everything. I’m all yours.” Darren slips down his own pants and underwear, just enough to expose himself.

Chris licks his lips, fingertips ghosting along Darren’s cock. “Dare--”

“Believe me. I am.”

“We should be--”

“Don’t tell me we should be working. I tell you I love you and you’re going to tell me we should be working?”

“Well...,” Chris’ eyes drift down to where his fingers are resting.

“Please, just--” Darren’s lips find Chris’ neck again and the younger man’s legs fall open. “Please, touch me.”

Chris grips Darren’s cock as Darren kisses along his jaw, and their mouths meet again hungrily. Darren thrusts into Chris’ touch, with Darren’s hand wandering beneath the waistband of Chris’ sweats.

“Ugh, Chris,” he pauses, out of breath, “Need you...too long.”

They have both been so busy lately that they barely have any time to themselves, save for a few quick kisses and heated makeout sessions in one of their trailers, so apparently Darren wants to make up for lost time.

“I know,” Chris answers, his fist moving up and down over Darren, thumb flicking out to brush against the head of his cock. “Unhh, what do you--what do you need?”

“Just you,” Darren whispers in his ear, tongue licking against the shell as he starts to pump Chris to full hardness. “You. Fuck, you feel so good. Want you inside me,” he blurts out.

“We--you--Really?”

“I would never, ungghh, lie to you,” he nibbles at Chris’ shoulder. “I swear, I--I can’t stop thinking about it since the last time we--it happened, then.”

“I know, but--”

Darren cups Chris’ cheek. “But, what? I want you. I know you want me. I love you, you idiot. What more do you want?”

“You love me,” he utters back, still stunned.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I probably overuse those words, but I really mean them.” He kisses Chris, softly this time, one hand pressing against Chris’ chest, the other bringing him off.

“Unhh, I can’t--you can’t do that if you want--”

“Yeah, mmm. Sorry. I really like touching you.”

“Yeah, so I’ve learned.”

“I always have. _Always_.” The way he emphasizes it sounds like a confession, like, _‘always, even before I should have,’_ or maybe like a promise of always wanting to.

“Yeah?” Chris asks, in awe.

Darren looks up at him, with dark, hazel eyes, full of want, but somehow soft and warm when they lock on to Chris’ gaze. “Yes.”

“I love you, too.”

“You don’t have to--”

“No, I do. I love you, too, and I definitely, _definitely_ want to fuck you.” Chris strokes his fingers down the base of Darren’s dick, to his asshole.

“Ohhh, ohhh, please, fuck.”

Darren stands up quickly, shimmying the rest of the way out of his pants. He sits back down over Chris’ lap, one knee between Chris’ legs. “Want you,” Darren murmurs, one hand covering Chris’ cheek, the other reaching into his pants. He kisses Chris again, sliding his tongue into his mouth, and sliding back out to bite at Chris’ lower lip. He snaps Chris’ waistband and starts to drag his pants down.

He resumes his previous position, legs on either side of Chris’, and he licks his lips, eyes roving over Chris’ frame as his lower half comes into full view. “You really are hot, though,” Darren laughs, his voice low and throaty already.

“You don’t need to flatter me. I’m already naked.”

“Mmm, I know.” Darren finally strips off his own shirt. “Fuck, I need--where’s--?” his brow furrows and he searches for something. “Ahh,” he leans over, the change in angle causing delicious friction between them. Then, he returns with a small packet in his hand.

“You keep a spare pack of that in your jeans?” Chris grins.

“Well, yeah, just in case.” He smirks wickedly as he tears it open with his teeth, coating his fingers in lube. “I’m always around you.”

Now, Chris is the one blushing as he watches Darren reach around his cock to his ass. Chris grabs Darren’s hips, the man on top thrusting against him, causing their cocks to brush each other. Darren grunts and continues to thrust, his mouth messily finding Chris’.

Chris breaks away to kiss down Darren’s neck. “Do you need any, um, help with that?”

“That would be, unhh, nice,” he says between wet smacks of his fingers.

Chris inserts one dry digit beside Darren’s. “Wow, two already?”

“Unghh, like I said, I’m always around you,” he counters flirtatiously, with a sparkle in his eye. “Deeper. Mmm, want to feel you. Ahhh, ” he winces.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No. Well, yeah, a little, but I don’t really give a fuck at the moment.”

“You will when you have to dance tomorrow.”

“Don’t--ooh, yeah, _there_ \--” he pauses when Chris crooks his finger _justright_ , “don’t remind me. Stop with the work talk and just fuck me already.”

“I can’t, unhh,” he focuses on Darren’s face, eyes shut tight, full, spit-slick lips, strong jaw, “I can’t stop. It used to be my only outlet, my everything,” he admits, feeling even more bare than he already is when Darren’s eyes flash open with concern.

“Chris,” he whispers. “It’s better, unhh, now though, right? Unhh, harder.”

“Yeah, you could say that. Are you ready or--?”

“Another, _shit_ , but be quick, and keep--keep touching me.” Darren kisses him, long and deep. “What was that about work?”

Chris moans into his mouth as their lips wetly pull apart. “What?”

“Better,” Darren smiles.

Then, Chris pulls his fingers out briefly to suck on them while Darren watches, fucking himself on his own finger. Chris slips back in, and they try to kiss but end up panting into each other’s mouths.

“Need, unnhh, need more lube.”

“Hold on.” Darren leans over again. “Fuck,” he exclaims when Chris’ long, perfect fingers hit _that_ spot, “don’t, don’t fucking stop.” He returns with another small pack of lubricant. “Shit, I don’t have a condom.”

“Mmm, ‘s okay.” His fingers keep moving inside Darren as Chris rips it open with his teeth. “Ugh. We don’t need it, right? It’s only you, Dare,” he declares softly, the words a tender contrast to the rough fucking of his fingers.

He clutches Chris’ forearm; his honey eyes bore into Chris’ blues, so close they’re both practically cross-eyed. “Only you, too, since that first night this summer. If you--if you want, Chris. It’s your call, babe.”

Everything about Darren’s latest confession ( _tonight seems to be a night for confessions,_ Chris thinks), the way his voice starts to break and the endearment he uses, tugs at Chris’ heart, because Darren only pauses like that in the rare moments that he’s caught being contemplative and cautious; he also _never_ uses endearments like that seriously, unless they’re in a position like this, where either of them are vulnerable.

“O-okay. It’s only--only me, with you. You’re alright with that?” Chris’ hand shakes, and he stills inside Darren, when he coats his fingers in the cool liquid and rubs his fingers together.

“‘Course. This isn’t our first time, Chris,” Darren chuckles softly, kissing him again to relax him as he guides Chris’ hand over his dick to coat it in lube. “Unhhh, mmm. You already--You’re amazing.”

“It is sort of is, though,” he remarks shyly,despite their position, and ignores the compliment, “in a way.”

Darren whines when Chris pulls their fingers out, Darren’s hand still wrapped around Chris. “You and me,” he mutters so low that Chris isn’t even sure that he meant to say it out loud.

Chris gently takes Darren’s hand and places it low on Chris’ hip. Then, he follows suit with Darren’s other hand on his other hip. He encircles Darren’s hips with his own hands, pulling him up off his lap a little so that he’s poised above Chris’ cock.

The blunt head pushes in with a whimper from Darren, and the elder sinks down a little further, a small moan tumbling from his lips.

“You okay?” Chris breathes before he can even think.

“ _So_ okay,” he affirms, his mouth molding over Chris as he barely finishes the last syllable and pushes down further until he’s fully seated, Chris’ balls flush to Darren’s ass.

Darren tears his lips away, enough to catch his breath for a bit. “Love you,” he kisses the corner of Chris’ mouth and Chris’ heart clenches again, voice growing even huskier when he adds, “Gonna ride you.”

He lifts up a bit, rolling his hips experimentally while Chris grips his ass. He kisses Chris’ shoulder when he comes back down. “Need you to touch me. Gonna die.”

Chris laughs a little, hands drifting over Darren’s thighs, through the tuft of dark hair at the base, ghosting over his balls, and finally working over his red, leaking cock.

“Unghh,” he lifts off with a little more certainty than before, creating a rhythm of skin slapping against skin, Chris’ hand squeezing at the base as Darren slides back into his lap.

Darren’s eyes tear up as he keeps riding Chris.“Too good. Gonna come.”

“Me too,” Chris grunts. “So tight.”

“So, do it,” Darren moans, kissing Chris’ neck. “Come inside me. Want you to.”

Chris thrusts up into him a few more times, and then he reaches his release, his sweaty forehead clinging to Darren’s shoulder. He lazily jerks his partner off until he comes all over Chris’ stomach.

Chris pulls out, earning a whine from Darren. They sit there, breathing each other in, with Darren’s thumbs rubbing Chris’ hipbones, and Chris’ fingers running over Darren’s chest.

Darren lifts Chris’ head and kisses him again, at first slow and relaxed, then giving way to burning hot as he sucks on Chris’ tongue. One of Darren’s hands leaves Chris’ hips, and there’s a squelching sound when Darren reaches under himself.

“What are you doing?” Chris asks, his still-sensitive dick twitching when he sees two of Darren’s fingers dripping with come.

“Tasting you,” but then he’s gliding his slick fingers across Chris’ tummy, “and me.”

“Fuck, Darren.”

Darren doesn’t answer with words, just traces Chris’ mouth with his fingertips. Chris greedily sucks on one them, tasting the bitter fluids.

“Mmm, mine.” Darren snatches his hand away, dipping his fingers into his own mouth, and hollowing his cheeks as he sucks further.

“Unnhh, Dare, I can’t. Not yet.”

He licks his fingers clean, pulling them out with a wet pop. “So,” he shifts and winces, kissing behind Chris’ ear, “we get clean, and do something else.”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna move, but you’re kinda heavy.”

“You’re mean, but I still love you. Also, I’m not moving. Too tired.”

“I’m not mean. You’re mean. Get your ass off me,” Chris teases, nudging Darren’s arm.

“I can guarantee you weren’t saying that five minutes ago,” he teases in return. “How about we compromise and cuddle?” Darren repositions himself so that he’s lying down, his legs still across Chris’ lap.

“How is that a compromise?” He sneaks in beside Darren to lie with him, despite his question. “You’re all gross.” He drapes one leg over Darren’s, tracing random patterns on his chest.

“Because,” he brushes the hair off of Chris’ forehead, “you love my ass, both literally and figuratively.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he playfully sighs. “I really do.”

Darren tilts Chris’ chin up to look at him. “And the past shouldn’t matter because here we are. Let’s just appreciate what we have now, okay?”

He gives Darren a small smile.“Alright.” A minute or so later, he adds, “I am not falling asleep here, y’know. My bed is so much better.”

“Oh, I know,” Darren smirks, earning another swat from Chris. “What? It’s true. I do have some experience there. It’s better than my bed.”

“Mmm, I can’t argue. Let’s go to bed, then.”

Darren gives him a quick peck, and soon enough, they do just that.


End file.
